Today...................................Bit cold
 | Today .. well hot in S'tralia |
 | Thankyou to my Australian correspondent
|
| No worries yer pommie Barstad.. |
| I'm trying to do a fucking weather report here |
| So am I for fucks sake, its fuckin hot in Sydney what the fuck, whinging Pommie C**T... |
| It's my fucking weather page |
| Sorry my mistake, cold then is it ? |
| Right where were we
Mrs Cobblers hanging baskets have just been blown down.......................................so from my vantage point here I'd say the winds getting up a bit |
| So you been on the Newcy Brown then ? |
| One more chance.....................................that's all you're getting....................................I'm trying to provide a serious service here |
| The weather here in Sydney has been sunny for long periods, reaching 30 degrees in the city and up to thirty five in the west .. |
| I like it.....................................you've been promoted AND I'll pay you £3.50 a month for quality broadcasting like that |
| Its goodnight from a very warm Sydney, over to you in the UK John.. |
| Thankyou Lenni in sunny Sydney................................Time for a word from our sponsors
BOLLOCKS
|
 | Coldish here in Coventry..... |
| I did tell Panee to heat it up.... |
| You mean the milk don't you Andy.........................................Andy's going to have a milky coffee viewers
Jeez..................I'm going to get taken off the air at this rate |
| ( sings) JB... He's a weatherman, He's a weatherman, He's a weatherman ...... |
| This could lead to big things.......................................................I could even get on the BBC and lie to people every night about what the weather will be doing the next day |
 | Cold. Getting Colder......................... |
| The lazy git's still in bed!! Oi JB Wakey Wakey....... |
| Todays outlook..............................................Sunny but cold and quite blustery at times, Andy will be experiencing some warm fronts and it could get a little wet down under this evening. Mrs Mcginty at number 50 has got a line full of washing out so this guarantees good drying weather...................hang on a minute, that washings been out 5 days now and there's an ambulance parked outside her house..................more later |
 | U bored JB......? wot you up to today then matey soz for the thread hijack... |
| What a great link John.. weather much the same here in Sydney very hot, temperatures in the low thirties but slighty more humid, it did look like we may have a storm coming through but it turned out to be just alot of rumbling thunder. bit like you John after a few sherberts and a curry ... |
| Ha ha ha.....................nice to get a bit of humor from our friend down under.............................there's a bit of a cold front heading your way..............................she's just getting in from work |
| Second uncanny moment, Her majesty got in about 10 minutes ago.. I'll just show her that last post of yours..expect some changeable very icy temperatures around the Oaks Crescent area.. |
| Right..........................err..............................just taking the dog for a walk, ya know to do some research n stuff |
| Don't forget yer thermometer and that large sock yer keep down the front of yer trousers could come in handy... |
| Stops the wind escaping after the beer and curry ... |
| Was it something I said ?? I don't go in to other peoples offices I SAID OFFICES... |
| Dunno weather I like the way this topic is going...... |
| Weather !!! its a cracker ..... |
| Lenni keeps spoiling it.............................I'm trying to provide a serious service to help people on here be prepared if they're going out for the day or planning a romantic break or touring with their respective pop n rock combos. He can't be serious for more than 5 minutes....................................I no longer require him to work as my Australian correspondent, I've sacked the twat |
| Just bumped into Neil Sedaka..............he says it's going to be a funny day on friday.......................................something about "laughter in the rain" |
| len77 wrote on Jan 30, edited on Jan 30 I'd just like to thank our sponsors BOLLOCKS for there continued support............OH! it seems I have been fired ....................I hope you all freeze Yer BOLLOCKS off .....................Gosh its warm........ |
| Charming........................you won't want a job on my upcoming news channel then |
| So fire me, and then its like, news channel, and Job and won't want and ... |
| I want twice as much as I was getting on the weather channel and I refuse to work with those BOLLOCKS ... |
| I'm always willing to give a man a second chance...........................£7 a month and a 3 year sponsorship with our new people HAIRY CHUFF......................now that's a very generous deal |
| len77 wrote on Jan 30, edited on Jan 30 That seems very reasonable, you obviously recognise talent when you see it.. how the hell you ended up as a roadie for me is a complete mystery .... |
| It could have been anybody..............................I just knew it was a good way to shag more chicks............................err, I mean, the chance to work with someone who I looked up to and was as awsome as you was too good to pass up |
| Could we get to £10 a month maybe ???? |
| Yes, yes.....................you're meant to be presenting the news..........................on the other channel |
| Who's gonna do the weather ?????? |
| I'll advertise the job
Lying twat required to make stuff up about the weather
£3.50 per month, half a snickers a week and all the water (tap) that you can drink (although be careful with that because you only get one toilet break a day)
Apply within
Think that's ok Lenni? |
| I do get the other half of the Snickers don't I ... |
| Ok Ok we will go halves on the half.. |
| Look, I consider you to be a invaluable part of my media empire, from now on there will be 1 snicker bar, 1 copy of Motorcycle news and a nice milky coffee on your desk on the 31st of every month |
| Copy of Rustler and I'll take the job.... |
| The jobs yours.............................few of the pages are stuck together but hey, what are friends for...........Welcome aboard |
| Haha sucked into that one Rustler boy .....Now then JB he can do all the early mornings and late nights and afternoons as well ... Fancy a Southern Comfort ???? |
| Will we shake on it! (wipes the white stuff from his hand) |
| Memo to self....Must stop eating those melted Milky Bars...... |
| ! weeks trial...............................if it doesn't work out Lenni wants his copy of "Big Constuction Boys in leather" back.....................oh sorry it was Rustler wasn't it |
| Jb now your a media mogul can i have the position of best boy or grip on your late night soft porn channel you are about to put out and that iv'e allready subscribed to.............please........please.... |
| Jeez... It's F'in windy today......... |
| Gale force winds and heavy rain for some parts of the country today.......................for others not as windy and a bit drier |
| and effecting travel too on the M6.... |
| You're doing a great job Andy......................................much better than the last guy |
| Wrong!!!! see no research !!!!!! thats why he paid me twice as much as you..... errr .....oops..... Its pissing down in Sydney ....... |
| A message from our sponsor....
Its HAIRY and it CHUFF'S |
| I was a bit upset when BOLLOCKS pulled out but HAIRY CHUFF seem to be holding their own |
| I like the new slogan ......MUNCH ON A CHUFF.... |
| Nothing quite like a good Chuff Munch |
| Must be Andy's day off...........................................Freezing northerly winds gusting to 60mph in places, and the risk of snow later............................................spare a thought for any elderly people you know that may be living alone with little or no heating.......................yeah right, doesn't stop them getting to the fucking bingo does it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Freezing me nuts off today! |
| Nut freezin indeed, me bolts sunk back into it's thread ..... |
| And live from Sydney Australia, it seems the hot and humid weather has receeded due to yesterdays flash thunderstorms, and Sydneysiders we were treated to a cooler overcast day, very comfortable after the humidity of late.. WTF am I doing I was fired wasn't I .....sorry I can't help myself the standard seems to have lowered since my departure .... |
| Snow for some, not for others....................................getting dark later |
| What a load of old bollocks..... Hic..... Hic..... |
| |
I could even get on the BBC 